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Here’s what Twitter had to say about Apple’s launch of the new iPhone

"My iPhone suspiciously started acting up when Apple is about to release a new one"

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Weekly updates


Earlier today, Apple aligned with the sun and moon to create a technological solar event known as the “launch” which, every year, makes this tech giant the centre of the universe and your step brother’s news feed.

In case you missed it, Apple unveiled the new iPhone 7 and Apple Watch Series 2. Both items were packed with hype and unnecessary features you might question at first but which ultimately allow you to give in to your inner-capitalist ego; you know, the one that made you wait in line for five hours at Yeezy’s pop-up store two weeks ago, and then told you it was a worthy investment of time and money? Don’t stress, it totally was.

Maintaining some consistency with the past, this latest Apple launch event copped a wave of criticism. Apple’s chief design officer, Joathan Ive said this line of Apple products had been “Painstakingly perfected to be as clean and beautiful as possible.” He also added, like he has every year, that this is the “best iPhone ever made”.

The iPhone 7 is divided into two classes: the iPhone 7 and the iPhone 7 Plus. New features in both models include the new colour of silky Jet Black, 25 percent greater light display, complete resistance to water and dust and the controversial removal of a headphone jack. Instead, the new iPhone comes with a pair of wireless earbuds which the tech giant has resourcefully named AirPods.

Aside from the concerns of being a potential choking hazard, AirPods have been grilled, roasted and most unforgivably meme’d on a gratuitous level. Folks were also quick to voice their disappointment over the new iPhone’s inability to allow users to engage in three-way FaceTime and conference calls. So far Twitter has been leading the way in calling out the tech giant on its incredibly minor, but still super-important flaws.

Below is just a brief selection of our favourites.

  • Words: Vincent Dwyer

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01.

It’s true. No headphone jack means no more blasting Limp Bizkit from the iPhone dock you bought in year 8.


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02.

Not an exaggeration. The new AirPods look like white-goods from the ’90s which have become subject to Rick Moranis’ shrink ray from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.


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03.

Simile game is tight.


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04.

Getting caught up in the Apple sales conspiracy; the tech giants will keep releasing mildly improved products every year just so long as us dumb SOBs are willing to shell out our petty cash.


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05.

The Apple giveth and the Apple taketh away. But sometimes the Apple don’t even giveth; you’ve got to work for your upgrades.


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06.

And these things are predicted to set you back $159. Are you crying yet?


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07.

But they’re the FUTURE. Gosh…


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08.

Us: Oh haha, yeah… haha that’s cool… So how much, again?


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09.

Woah…


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010.

Never before has a tweet captured the brutal, no-nonsense furore of Apple Inc.