So the Melbourne City Council’s love/hate affair with graffiti has finally come full circle to the point where they are considering installing CCTV cameras in Hosier Lane and the adjoining Rutledge Lane to prevent the existing graffiti from being vandalised.

The proposal seems to hinge on the argument that the ‘world renowned’ street art of Hosier Lane is under assault from illegal graffiti, which has no place in the CBD. I hope that makes sense to you, because I just typed that sentence and I’m still struggling to find any sort of logic here. To break it down – the Council are proposing to install cameras so that they can identify and prosecute graffiti writers painting over graffiti, because the graffiti in the alley is a valuable tourist commidity that needs to be protected from graffiti writers. Hopefully that clears things up.

Furthermore, a council commissioned report on the space went on to stress the fact that the area is ‘used by young people as a hangout‘. And we all know that groups of young people in an urban environment need to be constantly monitored by covert surveillance unless we want the country to descend into lawless anarchy.

Like any dysfunctional relationship, the vicious cycle of infatuation and abuse on behalf the Council seems to be playing out eternally. Those of us on the periphery can clearly see that this arrangement is toxic, but no one wants to man up and say anything about it. Melbourne seems to be destined to eternally be the city that will prominently feature Phibs and Lister in their advertising campaigns, while simaltaneously enforcing anti-graffiti laws that almost manage to make Singapore’s look reasonable. At this stage the proposal is under consideration and a decision will be made later this month. Fingers crossed that they just bulldoze the whole thing so we can all stop having these ridiculous conversations.