Out of all the stereotypical labels or personality traits that you could attach to a woman, I find these the most annoying. Mainly because they are inaccurate and outdated.

#1 We’re gold diggers

If you ask me, and I guess you are because you’re reading my column, this is an excuse drummed up by men so that they can shy away from the fact that what women want in a man is not money – it’s drive and ambition. We’re so sorry if this makes you anxious, but it’s just how it is. Any actual gold-digging women I can think of are actually paying a bigger price, in the form of their dignity. To illustrate: Hugh Hefner’s sex team. You will see a legitimate gold digger coming from a mile away, but remember she ain’t digging for gold if you ain’t got none sunshine.

#2 We nag

You know who we usually point the finger at for nagging? Mums. And who do they usually nag? Kids. Women who are generally respected won’t have to ask a grown man to pick up after himself or to get off his PlayStation after he has been on it for 75 hours.

#3 We’re airheads

Yes, there are a few out there, it’s true. And you know what? You guys humour them. They actually aren’t that dumb; they just think they have to be because they find their self-worth in shutting up and looking pretty. Raise the intellectual bar for your woman and she’ll surprise you by meeting it.

#4 We’re clingy

This is not gender specific you know. Dudes are known to get their stalker on from time to time. Sure, women get attached after sex but I’m pretty sure this just makes us human beings with – shock horror – feelings?

#5 We’re bitchy

Ok, I’ll let you have this one. It’s true! You know what’s making it worse? Social media. And you know what else? Your involvement. Here is a bit-o-advice… stay out of chick beef and your life will ease considerably. Hell, we don’t even know what is going on half the time, so stay in your lane.

#6 Apparently we talk about our ex boyfriends a lot

Just be man enough to help her forget all about him! Easy peasy.

#7 Jealousy

Ah yes… this ‘ol chestnut. The fact is, we’re territorial and we know what other women are like so this is less about you being irresistible and more about another issue where women need to learn to respect each other. I am not going to be able to dissect here right now but I’m sure we can find the answer on an old episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

#8 We take our time getting ready

I’ve been through all of this before… shower, wash hair, wash face, brush teeth, shave everything, moisturise face and body, make-up, mascara, lipstick, blow-dry hair, straighten hair, knickers, bra, impossibly difficult dress to get into, heels, matching handbag, might need tampons, nag you about something, call the cab because you’re still on your PlayStation, read a book, call our mum about something, make some toast. Honey, we don’t wake up looking like this.

#9 We’re drama queens

The problem with this label is that, because it has the word ‘queen’ in it, it’s attached to either women or gay guys, when the truth is that this is a human personality trait that could affect any one of us. I won’t mention names, but I can think of one that rhymes with Kanye West.

#10 We can’t take a joke

We can if it’s actually funny, asshole.

Keep up with The Obnoxious Owl’s weekly ‘Shooting From the Hip’ column here.