Shooting from the Hip: Unicorns and Cupcakes
The Obnoxious Owl waxes lyrical on the world (and whines) of Tumblr girls26-Oct-2012
As a lady blogger I spend a fair amount of time on the internet. Call me arrogant, but I never really used to read other peoples blogs… mainly because they made me feel inferior. Especially when I started out. I kinda felt like how I assume the common man would feel if he went to a communal urinal with a bunch of male porn stars. Inferior is the word I’m looking for. As my confidence increased, so did my scouring of blogs, mainly those run by my fellow sisters. Weeding through the endless tumblrs that consisted of nothing but re blogged hipster porn, lyrics by Joy Division and self-portraits on photo booth, I found the odd one with original content and some decent editorial. I also began to read a few blogs ran by my Internet BFF’s that I have become friendly with on twitter. Sometimes I actually LOL, often I feel inspired and sometimes I have to double up on my Oil of Olay ‘prevent the seven signs of ageing’ moisturiser in the morning because of my new frown lines.
And then, amongst all this, you will find the rainbow-coloured, makeup loving… correction: ‘makeup gurus’ (Internet talk…you wouldn’t understand) who all have hair that is every colour except brunette or blonde and have a penchant for ridiculous clothing… the more avant garde the better. Like, super ‘Whoa man. You totally made a dress out of a spider’s web and then wore a pair of vintage adidas with it to be ironic’ kind of avant garde. Am I not making sense? Tap Audrey Kitching or Raquel Reed into Google and be prepared for candy in human form.
Dig deeper into the murky depths of the interwebs and more of these technicolour little cock puppets begin to rear their bejewelled heads. Hey, I’m not hating on them… well I guess I kinda am. I’m all for building online profiles, I ain’t calling a kettle black here but the thing that really rattles my cage is the whinging. OH MY GOD THE WHINGING! Examples: “I am so sick of going out and being stared at” – Um… your makeup was inspired by Hello Kitty and you are wearing a dress made out of Clingfilm and Chupa Chup wrappers. You did not leave the house hoping people would turn a blind-eye now do you, my little glitter ball?
In fairness, it does take some testicles to go out dressed like you dipped yourself in glue then rolled around on the floor in Spotlight. I can’t help but think that the ironic thing here is that these lasses are so obviously slightly insecure that they have to go out and about dressed as Willy Wonka and then bitch and moan that nobody accepts them and that there is nothing wrong with being different. YAWN. I am seriously a big supporter of being creative and ORIGINAL but seriously, Lady Gaga shows up to the party and then suddenly so do all of these scene queens? Coincidence? Whatever.
I just think there is more to being creative than looking like My Little Pony threw up you…ya know? In the quest to be different, I fear that they all just end up looking the same.
Keep up with the Obnoxious Owl’s weekly Shooting from the Hip column here.