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No Country for Old (Rap) Men: Rap extremists

Flat-Earthers, Scientologists, and pro-life raps – Robbie explores some rappers' more unconventional beliefs

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LL Cool J, Kid Rock, and most recently Kanye West have all publicly declared support for Republican political candidates, while Eazy-E infamously attended a Republican fundraiser for George Bush after being invited by accident (according to his manager Jerry Heller, ‘Nobody’s been that stoned in the White House since Gerald Ford’s kid Jack smoked dope on the White House roof. And Eazy had better weed that Jack Ford ever did’). But leaning to the right in terms of politics is small potatoes compared to some of the more bizarre beliefs and complete turnarounds seen elsewhere in rap. Here are a few of my favourites:


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01. Doug E. Fresh

Dubbed as ‘The World’s Greatest Entertainer’ in his prime, D.E.F. wowed crowds with his human beatboxing, rapping and harmonica skills on stage and delivered classic records such as ‘The Show,’ ‘Keep Risin’ To The Top’ and ‘Nuthin” in the eighties before signing with MC Hammer’s Bust-It Records and attempting to recreate his boss’ all-singing all-dancing pop success. Originally known for including a strong Christian message in his music, Doug later joined the Church of Scientology, where he contributed songs to their Joy of Creation album and performed at conventions dedicated to L. Ron’s legacy. ‘Cut That Thetin’, eh Doug?


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02. GETO Boys

The Houston rap group responsible for ‘Mind of a Lunatic’ were branded so offensive that Geffen Records refused to press the album they released through Rick Rubin. They revealed their traditional Southern upbringing when they recorded the ‘pro-life’ track ‘The Unseen’ in 1992 for their Uncut Dope: GETO Boys Best album. Calling out women who have abortions as murderers, the crew seem a little murky on the medical details (‘baby sucked out her ass with a vacuum’) but helpfully suggest that ‘gay motherfuckers’ should be sent to the slaughterhouse instead of unborn babies.


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03. KRS-One

One of the greatest rappers of all time, The Blastmaster has never been shy about exploring new ideas and sharing his numerous wild-eyed theories with the world. It was nevertheless a little jarring when he released an album titled Spiritual Minded, which centred around him becoming a Born Again Christian, after having previously recorded songs such as ‘The Real Holy Place’ where he told listeners to ‘stop reading from a dead book’ amongst others criticisms of modern religion.


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04. Professor Griff

As the Minister for Information at Public Enemy, as well as leading the S1W’s, Griff had his hands full defending the groups’ politics against the largely white music press of the day. Coming off the back of the critically acclaimed It Takes A Nation of Millions… and the release of the ‘Fight The Power’ single (which featured in Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing), media attention on the group was at an all-time high. Having already garnered negative press in the UK for towing the Nation of Islam party line but things really went off the rails when he declared that ‘Jews are responsible for the majority of wickedness across the globe’ to a journalist from The Washington Post. Turns out Griff had been enjoying Henry Ford’s book The International Jew a little too much, despite Def Jam publicist Bill Adler’s attempts to convince him that Ford was basically racist against anybody who wasn’t a classic WASP. As a result of the negative backlash, Chuck D fired Griff from the group, which resulted on the Proff. packing his bags for Miami and releasing a surprisingly enjoyable album on Luke Skyywalker’s label in between working shifts as a bouncer at strip clubs (or so legend has it).


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05. B.O.B.

This former Outkast weed carrier went on to have some wins in the pop charts as a soloist, which afforded him the luxury of exploring his Flat Earth theories. Convinced that the whole idea of the earth being a globe is some form of devilish tricknology, Flat Earthers believe that we in fact live on a disc and that every image that NASA has ever produced involving planet Earth being a round planet is part of a wider Masonic conspiracy.

B.O.B. breaks it down on the song ‘Flat Line:’ ‘So you, so you spin, you know when you spin pizza dough, it kind of flattens out. It gets wider in the middle and…so Earth throughout its life, even when it formed, it was spinning. And it got a little wider at the equator than it does at the poles. So it’s not actually a sphere, it’s an…it’s oblate, it’s officially an oblate spheroid. That’s what we call it.’ Flat Earthing is a great place for folks who find climate denial a little ‘too rational.’