Professional DJs embody the role of the modern day Pied Piper. Standing above everyone on a platform designed to make them the centre of energy in a club, they expertly (and sometimes not so expertly) transition between tracks, endure the hi-fives of sweaty, ecstasy-filled young people and choose songs while a gaggle of hangers-on dance about them. When the party is over, the professional DJ will often retreat to an all-expenses-paid hotel room or be whisked away to the airport.

Not a bad life, but it isn’t all free champagne and loud music. DJs are people to! And, shock horror, some take to Twitter to complain. (I swear to god that is what Twitter is for anyway.) The complaints of these jet-setting DJs has been bought together under one twitter account @DJscomplaining and illustrated for our convenience. Very entertaining.

William Miller