I watched Citizen Four last night – a possibly slanted but entirely worrying and informative documentary by director Laura Poitras – the women whom Edward Snowden chose to confide in about him breaking the news that NSA was really a Thought Police inspired organisation spying on their own citizen’s
emails dick pics.
This morning I naturally disassembled my Gmail, Reddit, and Snapchat monikers in favour of a harshly secure Linux system where all my future dick pics will be encrypted to tech savvy baes. They’re definitely going to share them with their girlfriends and lol heartily at my junk anyways, but at least that sharing will be their choice!
If you’ve ever been curious about exactly what that whole NSA thing was all about and just how they look at your bits, you’ll find Can They See My Dick somewhat enlightening. The website details the amendments that afford the NSA their creepy voyeurism, and whether the particular act allows for instance:
Section 702: One-End Foreign Dick
Yes. The FISA amendments act of 2008 which section 702 falls under allows the bulk collection of Internet communications that are one-end foreign. If you have your email somewhere like Gmail, it’s hosted on servers overseas or transfered overseas or anytime crosses over the borders of the United States: your junk ends up in the database.
You don’t have to be sending your dick to a German. Even if you send it to somebody within the United States your — wholly domestic — communication between you and your wife can go from New York to London and back and get caught up in the database.
Well, there you have it, under Section 702, the NSA can indeed see your dick. Stay woke people!
Listen: Freddie Gibbs & Kaytranada – ‘My Dope House’
Watch: Tinashe – ‘All Hands on Deck’
Chill guys, stop sleeping in front of Apple stores