Weekly updates:

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Weekly updates

Anyone who remembers first getting the internet back in the ‘90s will recall how tedious it could be to do anything, even turning it on was an ordeal for some (usually my parents, who would constantly miss phone calls). And in an age where we can find our next blind date via a dedicated phone app, access endless streams of porn videos online and pretty much every site has a healthy dosage of NSFW content, it’s easy to forget the effort that used to be required to get your jollies off URL. But in case you did forget or (holy shit) you were too young to know anything about a world running on dial-up internet, here’s a blast from the past.

The Found Footage Festival is in the business of video archaeology and have managed to dig up this gem, How To Have Cybersex On The Internet. I’m not sure where else you would normally have cybersex, besides the internet, but I guess we had much to learn back then. This snippet kind of plays out like any corporate instructional video – uncomfortable, unnatural and overly-rehearsed – except the young female instructor talks us through how she scores that good internet D. Evidently, it requires painfully slow typing, magically disappearing sweaters and absolutely no subtlety at all. Watch the clip, which is actually kind of suitable for work, above.