I do love me a good ride (mind outta the gutter). I’m especially partial to the ones where you just sit in a seat and shit moves around and there’s a screen so you feel like you’re IN the movie. They’re always for movies. I’ve ridden the Star Wars one at MGM Studios (or was is EPCOT? One of the shitty Disney ones…) which was AWESOME, because it was all 80’s and kinda dodgy and the PSA at the start which tells you not to eat in the ride or take photos was actually acted out by the actors from Star Wars! Amazing. I went on it twice. There was no line.

Like any child living in Queensland during the early 90s I also did the Batman ride at Warner Bros (how the hell, is that park doing these days???!) which was also awesome. If only for the theatrics at the start. They sure do set the scene there (the gremlins ride is also testament to that, how you sit in that fucking boring movie for half of it and then the lady with the popcorn cart gets attacked by gremlins. I always thought about how much of a waste of popcorn that was… I guess they probably reuse it for each show)

AND NOW, the Transformers ride just opened at Universal Studios and it looks like the fucking bommmmmbbbb. And so it should be as it cost 40 mill! Industrial Light and Magic did all of the effects (same mob as the movie) and I like how you move around in a little car, you’re not just in some theatre looking thing. Anyway, watch the video. Did they ever make a ride like this for Jurassic Park? Because that is a big missed opportunity. It would be perfect.  Can someone give me a job as  a ride adviser or something? I’m spitting gold here people.