
If you’re reading this then you’re probably at a crossroads in your life. Maybe you’re sick of your job. Maybe that co-worker you’re desperate to talk to just got in a relationship. Perhaps you were disappointed by Triple J’s Hottest 100 for the tenth year in a row. Either way, life has you down in the dumps without a rope to hang on to. But I understand what’s going on here. Trust me. I once did Psychology in year 10. I’ve seen the symptoms and I know how to treat it. I’m sorry to say but severe bouts of the blues require a full weekend of treatment. Listen carefully, the doctor’s in. First, I recommend a three-and-a-half-minute dose of Jimi Tents, to drain all the sadness and earn back some vitality. Friday night should then consist of bangers from the best, that being Missy Elliott. Saturday, you may still find yourself in a funk. The only way to beat this is more funk. Barclay Crenshaw and his futuristic funk to be precise. Now comes Saturday night, and Kehlani is certainly the kick-up-the-arse you need. When seedy Sunday rolls around Mac Demarco and his gorgeous, lullaby voice will be there to soothe the headache and get you optimistic about the coming Monday. I’m not sure what to prescribe for the next week. See a doctor or something?
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