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Press Play on Kira Puru’s Foreplay Playlist

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Kira Puru on fetishes, queerness, fantasies, and the mix she’s made to soundtrack it all.

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Hello, and welcome to LifeStyles of Love. This is a series of playlists designed for moments of intimacy with friends and lovers alike, curated by artists we love. If the title didn’t wink at enough, this is a project with LifeStyles: makers of condoms since 1905. Last week Oscar Key Sung shared a low-key, gentle collection of love songs which you can listen to here. This week, Kira Puru is cranking it up a notch. 

Hi Kira! Thank you for taking the time so talk about sexuality. Can you talk me through the idea behind this mix. Where do you imagine it being played?
I made a lap dance playlist! Foreplay is an important part of sex for many folks. If you’re single and dating, it’s is a great time for internal conversations about consent and boundaries to happen, or allow the nerves to settle and the body to prep for whatever comes next. If you’re in a long-term relationship then it’s great for experimenting and trying new things. Lap dances can cover a lot of ground here, from the humorous and ice-breaking to the deeply sensual. I imagine this playlist happening somewhere cosy after a nice dinner date, a few wines in.

I’m interested in how you see sexuality manifest in your music. Song like ‘Fly’ and ‘Tension’ are pretty hot. Do you ever find yourself consciously writing sexy songs?
It’s not a conscious part of my practice, but I think I have sex on the brain most of the time. I spent a portion of my teen years feeling so scared and mystified by sex and sexuality, before finding a space where I could feel comfortable and confident about my body and sexuality and desires. Talking about it openly is my own small way of breaking that down, or unpacking it, or something. It’s mostly for myself really, but if I can facilitate some sort of sexy time for others with my music, I’d be honoured.  

Love! So these days, it sounds as if you’re pretty comfortable talking sexuality. Are you open to talking about your own sexual identity, or is it so fluid that it’s difficult to pin down with terminology?
I guess I do now. I found it hard for a long time. I still haven’t found a term that I feel fully encompasses the way I feel really. Like bisexual, pansexual and demisexual all speak to me in ways, but none have ever felt totally right so I say ‘queer’ ‘cause it feels like a roomy umbrella term. I think feeling so confused and uncomfortable for so long has brought me to a place where I feel passionate about speaking freely about it. Talking more about sex, sexuality and pleasure is a really important part of getting us all to a more healthy, sex positive place in general. And I think sex positivity and an open mindset are really great agents for pushing equality further along. RE: personal sexuality, I am a pretty open person and if I felt safe, comfortable and energetic—I’d probably try anything at least once. Generally speaking I feel some strong heterosexual feelings, but I’m also in a relationship with a cis man at the moment and I tend to feel whatever relationship style  I’m in at the time very strongly. I’ll tell you one thing though, coming to terms with and managing heteronormative relationships and lifestyles can be tough for a big ol’ queer.

And has the queer community shaped your relationship to sex, or your openness to talk about it?
OMG yes. In my younger days, when I was very confused about my sexuality, I had very long conversations with my queer friends about their sexuality and the role that plays in their identity and life. I find queer people to be so well versed and open in these areas, I guess a lot of my queer friends have had to learn good dialogue around their traumas, desires, sexuality, boundaries, grief, politics, and so on. Basically, the queer community taught me that nothing is wrong or shameful—where there are adult consenting parties—and that good communication is always key to positive sexual experiences. I’m also just genuinely fascinated by people and what weird shit they’re into.

Can you tell me something you find particularly sensual? A temperature, a level of lighting, a song?
I like smells, both fragrances or au naturale. Expensive fabrics, clothes and sheets and stuff. Deep voices. I feel like I’m revealing how vanilla I am with this list. I’ve always said that really bland, hetero, white-picket-fence life is kind of a kink of mine. I think I romanticise storybook-type normality cause I have always been such an incurable misfit. Refer to Buddy Guy on the playlist for something super sexy.

Ha! Can you share a feature that some people wouldn’t really consider sexy, but you just love?
This is gonna sound like such a cop-out answer but I genuinely just fall in love with whoever I’m crushing on at the time. I’ve fallen in love with hairy backs and bums, gaps in teeth, weird smells, bad habits or tics, nobbly knees, old hands, tired eyes, copious sweat, whispy hair, and pot bellies. I think bodies are so incredible, beautiful, strong, and resilient. They’re all beautiful in their own ways. Having a body that is not traditionally considered beautiful or desirable myself makes it easy for me to find these things sexy. It sounds cliche as fuck but your weird quirks make you special!

On personal quirks, if that’s not too awkward a segue, can you tell me about a kink you’re fascinated by?
I’m so fascinated by kink. I signed up to Fetlife for a while and that introduced me to a larger community of sex positive, kink-friendly folk and I had a really positive time there. I find kink very interesting on a social and psychological level, but my own personal kinks are sadly pretty vanilla. Though I find all kink very interesting to talk about, things I find particularly curious are findom-ing/rinsing, cuckolding, breeding, furries, objectum sexuality, dollification, bored/ignored and looming. I really enjoy talking to people about their kinks, however unusual I might find them. No kink shame!

Great answer. Here’s my last question: how does technology shape the ways in which you’re intimate with partners?
Actually, I don’t even use toys really and I very rarely watch porn. I spend a lot of time “connected” in my daily life, so time away from screens and technology is really welcomed at my place. I’ve only been with my current partner just over 12 months now and I’m sure we’ll end up spicing things up over time to keep us both engaged. No stranger to raunchy pic exchange with my partner when I’m on tour though. 

Of course. Slay. Thanks for chatting Kira!

For every follower to Kira’s LifeStyles of Love playlist between December 8th and 14th, LifeStyles will donate $5 to Living Positive, a community-based organisation that works to advance the human rights and wellbeing of people living with HIV. Listen below, or check it out on Spotify here.

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