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Robbie Ettelson - Flashback 2011

As I head over for the second Unkut Invasion of New York, it seems like an appropriate time to attempt to recall some of my exploits from the first visit. Much of it is a little foggy, on account of the fine work I was putting in with the Open Bar Kings between Monday and Thursday nights, but here are the ten things that amused me the most.

1. Appearing on two episodes of The Combat Jack Show, back when it was recorded in the PNC Radio studios out in the boondocks, where you could watch wise guys dumping bodies in the river whenever you stepped out to the balcony to blaze a tree. I got to explain that Rodd and Gunn is the “Polo of New Zealand”, talked about how Unkut dot com is the greatest rap site on the internets and confused a guest when I asked him if it was important to “separate the wheat from the chaff”. This was when Premium Pete was still fighting for a spot on the team, which provided some classic moments off the mic.

2. Attending a “secret” DJ Stretch Armstrong set in the basement of some fancy hotel, password-at-the-door steez, where I bumped into Dante Ross, Neek The Exotic and DJ Greenpeace, witnessed a catfight between some bigshot Hollywood producer’s side chicks and got to rap the lyrics for Men At Work with rap game royalty.

3. Bumping into Marley Marl in the open bar section of a producer’s conference, where I immediately asked him when the TJ Swan album was coming out. The look on his face was priceless – he didn’t see that one coming!

4. Visiting Lord Finesse’s crib in the Bronx with Chaze from Grim Team, where I got to see the Mac Miller saga unfold right before my eyes through a series of phone calls before Finesse told me that him and the rest of the D.I.T.C. crew check my site out on the regular, all while eating a Philly Cheese Steak on the couch. Fanboy alert #1.

5. Going backstage at the Mobb Deep reunion show at Best Buy and seeing the most weed carriers ever assembled in one spot. The show wasn’t great, since the live band thing didn’t really come off, but Cappadonna’s spirited dancing during a Rae and Ghost set made it all worthwhile.

6. Recording the narration for the Internets Celebrities’ Bodega Cats video, only to have my fine work replaced by an actual British dude rather than my Australian drawl. I still cry myself to sleep every night over that heartbreak.

7. Visiting the Bronx Museum to honor Mr. Magic and sharing a bottle with Grand Daddy IU and his boys while throwing shots at everyone in attendance. I also met Large Professor face-to-face and he knew who the fux I was. Fanboy alert #2.

8. Getting tore up on Henny shots with Meyhem Lauren at Neek’s album launch party, which turned out to be a Queens all-star event featuring raps from Mr. Cheeks from the Lost Boys, Mic Geronimo, Craig G, J-Love, Large Professor and more.

9. Getting a food tour of Brooklyn courtesy of Matt Raz, which included a trip to White Castle to enjoy their bizarre tiny square burgers and some epic pizza spot which I can’t recall the name of right now. I also began a long-term relationship with a bodega candy named Swedish Fish, which, oddly enough, is made in Canada.

10. Witnessing Dallas Penn do the actual Harlem Shake after 30 Belvedere and pineapple juices at the Sneakerpedia launch. Clark Kent had the crowd in a yoke that night, and my evening ended with me tumbling out of a yellow cab and busting my knee open, destroying a fine pair of Rod and Gunn pants in the process.

Keep up with Robbie’s weekly ‘No Country for Old (Rap) Men’ here.