Weekly updates:

Posted by

Weekly updates

I can’t say that I haven’t come close to being in this exact position. Just last weekend, I ate so many Krispy Kremes and Tim Tams, that I was rendered unable to move while I ordered my judgemental sister to bring me the dog, so that I at least had someone there to comfort me who wasn’t going to laugh at me if I vomited on myself because we have both been there, hey little buddy? I desperately wanted to throw up, but I knew all that would do is clear room for me to immediately repeat the same mistake of inhaling whatever had previously escaped the unforgiving embrace of my appetite.

So I have great sympathy for the Ohio man who called a police dispatcher and claimed that he was “too high”. He was soon found by cops in his Austintown home laying in “fetal position” and groaning in a “plethora” of Doritos, cookies and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish.┬áHe told them that he couldn’t feel his fingers because he “smoked too much weed”.

He then directed officers to his car, where he had allegedly smoked the pot. A glass pipe, rolling papers, a roach and a jar of weed were recovered from his vehicle. He apparently denied medical treatment (wtf you calling dispatch for, then?).

More Mary Jane

Colorado confirms status as most chill US state, removes tax on marijuana for a day
Snoop Dogg launches his own marijuana lifestyle website called Merry Jane
Weed is literally falling from the sky in Arizona