Weekly updates:

Posted by

Weekly updates

There are some things in this crazy old life which can be described as ‘necessary evils’ – paying taxes, real estate agents and music by Drake – but in other instances, things aren’t quite so clear cut. Take for example Black Entertainment Television’s annual ‘Hip-Hop Awards’. At this stage in the music industry’s gradual decline, one might argue that we’re lucky to even have an awards show that honors the G.O.O.D. Music crew rappers. The last Source Awards was over ten years ago, so BET is all we have for now. That being said, it’s still a painful experience that reminds me of all the rap music I’ve managed to ignore this year.

Since I didn’t bother to vote (actually I wasn’t even eligible – you have to fill-out a quiz proving your rap trivia knowledge to even be considered as eligible. I guess I can’t complain that DJ Khaled (aka King of the Shout Jockeys) won ‘Best DJ’ for the second year in a row. He clearly has a really loud voice and we desperately needed someone to fill the gap left by Fatman Scoop. Kanye, his Weed Carriers and Jay-Z won pretty much everything else, while World Star held the crown for more ignorant (aka ‘Best’) website ever for the fourth year running.

Reading through the nominees was actually rather educational, as I had no idea that there was a rapper called Future until today, nor that J Cole is a real person and not some figment of the imagination of the Rap Internets. That being said, it was good to see that the Chris Lighty tribute from some of his biggest acts didn’t result in Fat Joe putting Curtis into a headlock, while the ‘Cyphers’ section provided some welcome balance to all the embarrassing outfits and shitty music of the main stage.

That being said, the cyphers weren’t without their issues. Mean Joe Preem was in charge of DJ duties, but whether it was in the interest of fairness or he just forgot to bring any other records, every single session consisted of him break-beating the ‘Bouncy Lady’ beat, which got kinda old after half an hour. A weird selection of newer rappers and more seasoned veterans got their chance to do their thing, with varied results. For me, Cassidy came off the nicest, while former ACCLAIM cover girl Iggy Azalea shamed her homeland with her pretend American twang, right after Chip from the UK proudly rapped in his natural accent. Oh yeah, and some kid called Mac Miller tried to get cute by ending his verse with “Even Lord Finesse thinks that I’m ill”. Save it for the judge, fuckyberg!

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Keep up with Robbie’s weekly ‘No Country for Old (Rap) Men’ column here.