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In the constant churn of music subcultures and internet movements, a threshold has been reached for just how much one person can be aware of before they’re relegated to the role of an information burdened recluse, belonging to absolutely nothing of what they know.
It’s in this meat grinder of unreal reality that the body-image-positive, biblically structured super pastiche #healthgoth has emerged from the brain of gothic industrial producer Deathface.

Deathface AKA Johnny Love discussed his new movement when detailing its Ten Commandments with Thump. The final commandment “Healthgoth is a completely made-up subculture, but it means that I don’t have to change out of my gym clothes to go out, so I’m all for it.” is probably the one that most concisely wraps up the conception of the culture or at least moreso than the claims that this is a response to the vapid nature of seapunk or something.

If you’re keen to slip on a pair of raven black tracky dacks and nihilistically prep a double scoop protein shake, check out the #healthgoth bible first. It manages to educate while making the reader feel like a worthless skin sack turgid with fat and shit which, frankly, is pretty goth. There’s even a store with appropriately bleak and hypersexed appropriations of conventional fitness slogans and logos.

Deathface credits the fitness revolution to a conversation he had with Gibby Miller of early emo forum Makeout Club fame who warned Johnny that, without a dietary intervention, his name would eventually wind up being Fatface.
So fit is cool again. Or it’s cooler than it already was before it was goth. I don’t know, but at least you now have an excuse to pump Deathface’s latest mini-album while running bleakly on an all black treadmill.

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