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OO - That Guy

Today I would like to talk about ‘that guy’. We all know ‘that guy’ – he is the funny one in the group. And not ‘funny’ as in someone we laugh with, but someone we laugh at: The Class Clown. Perhaps you are one? Perhaps you were one? Perhaps you’re dating one? Whatever the case, we all enable them with our guffaws, and our egging them on to snort wasabi paste or put the little Mexican hat you get with Sierra Tequila on their penis after they’ve drawn a little face on it (before getting them to take a picture to send to this chick they are sort of dating). She, of course, will love it because she’s probably 18.

Make no mistake, The Clown is always good value. Mostly, they take the pressure off us – because now we will definitely not be the uncoolest person in the room. And we get to laugh and raise our eyebrows and feel socially superior because, well, we kind of are when it comes to these guys.

‘That Guy’ loves to splash water, throw food, swear loudly, take their clothes off, make fart jokes and come dressed in novelty attire even though the invite didn’t call for it. Often they will arrive empty-handed, and not because they are tight-fisted, but because they’re broke. They know they’ll be able to get drunk for free because, well, they’re THAT GUY.

That Guy is harmless really. To everyone but themselves, that is. See, being ‘that guy’ has an expiry date and I’m calling it, oh, 24 years of age? 25 tops? It’s not really in vogue to act like a kid when you’re no longer a kid, basically. I’ve been on this Earth long enough to know that we are all the product of our own actions. Meaning this: if you don’t take yourself seriously, then nobody else will. And so you find yourself in this comfort zone by playing a particular role that you yourself have manufactured – and everyone else has decided to play along with it because that’s just how you are. Right?

Not really though. In my experiences with a few of These Guys, they only put their clown nose and shoes on when they are in social situations and/or are around certain circles. So nobody really knows the real them, and they live the very stressful double life of being someone who wants more for themselves than being just That Guy and being the pseudo–village idiot.

Yes, real life is scary but we all had to grow some and take that wobbly first step into the real world, sunshine. And when I say the real world, I mean adulthood. I gotta tell ya, it ain’t so bad. There is a certain kind of serenity with having responsibilities. You kinda feel like you’re actually part of something bigger than yourself and fighting towards the greater good – whatever that is…

Oh yeah! It’s contributing to society with something that is new, real and important. We’re part of a revolution don’t you know? The revolution of communication and creating a world that is encouraging you to bring something new to the table. You will be rewarded with an inner glow. This is also known as being happy with yourself.

Unless of course, you actually like being That Guy? In which case, I have to ask: aren’t you exhausted?

Keep up with The Obnoxious Owl’s weekly ‘Shooting from the Hip’ column here.