The Girl Code is the code that protects women from one another, preventing utter mayhem from reigning amongst the fem crowd. Basically, without the Code, the gloves are off. The Code may affect some men, because it could stop some of you from getting your preferred punani, but I’m sorry, it’s just the way it has to be in order for peace and tranquility otherwise we would all be living in a war zone.
The Girl Code has many written and unwritten rules and violation of any of these could mean isolation from the pack. There are few grey areas and limited flexibility where these rules are concerned. Some of the Code is set in stone but most rules are generally situated amongst female intuition. Yes girls…you know when you are in violation, don’t you? Make all the excuses you want but you know when you have broken the law.
Of course The Girl Code is private and if it were a club it would have a ‘No Boys Allowed’ sign on the door. But I am here to give you a tiny insight into it, in order to give you an idea of what its all about – and to remind those ladies who have been dropping the ball. The Code is watching you.
• No girl is to hang out with a friend’s boyfriend in a one-on-one situation without the friend’s knowledge or permission. This isn’t about trust; this is about respect.
• Friend’s brothers are off limits unless you have actually fallen in love and can almost guarantee that marriage is on the cards.
• No girl should knowingly purchase and wear the same perfume as a friend. Many girls struggle with an identity crisis and the trick is to find your own path rather than run down somebody else’s.
• A girl shalt not covet the same outfit that they know their friend has been saving for, for months.
• Ex-boyfriends are off limits no matter what the circumstance. It is also frowned upon to date a guy who a friend was really into at one stage without permission. Hoes before bros and all that.
• When out with the girls and one girl gets totally off tits she becomes the responsibility of her friends. Sure we are all responsible for ourselves, but only a real Paris Hilton of a friend would leave a mate passed out somewhere.
• Women should support other women who are in high places. All for one and one for all.
Give credit where credit is due and shower your friends with compliments when it is warranted. Be supportive but not a people pleaser.
• Never allow a drunk friend to leave with a random guy.
• Never repeat a girlfriend’s sex stories that she has told you in confidence.
• Never laugh and judge when a friend’s ‘sext messages’ or ‘noodz’ have been leaked. It could happen to you. You are not a better person for never having sent a naked picture.
• Girls are not to flirt with a boy who they know their friend has a crush on. Of course it’s not fair because he ain’t her boyfriend but that is why we have the Code. It is to protect people’s feelings!
• When a girlfriend has been dumped / fired / screwed over this is a Code 9 and friends are to be sympathetic and generous with food, booze and emotion.
• If a girl friend hooks up with one of your guy friendsand it all goes pear-shaped you are to take the side of the girl friend.
• Girls may not diss a friend’s boyfriend to her face. Even when she is complaining about him. Girls are to be understanding and nod in understanding. The reason for this: when all is said and done, the Code goes out the window when a woman is obsessed with a man.
What girls try to avoid at all costs is to fight over a dude. Half the time it isn’t even about the guy – it’s about the principle. When it comes to matters of the genitals, the lines are more blurred than that one picture of Kate Middelton’s tits, which is why one should always refer back to the Code.
Keep up with The Obnoxious Owl’s weekly ‘Shooting from the Hip’ column here.